My last post generated some bold e-mails, enough to warrant a second glance at the concept of marrying your life.
It occurs to me that too often we squash our dreams. The dreams that keep us up at night, gnawing at our subconscious because they are so revealing. I’ve had a recurring dream of writing a book under a cherry blossom tree in Italy. In the dream, I was alone, relaxed, mindful of the blush of pink flowers above me, the sweet fragrance in the air, and the pleasing view of the green and terra Italian countryside. I wrote longhand. Imagine.
Two things have come of this dream: my husband and I have decided to travel to Italy in June; and, I’ve decided to get my MFA in creative nonfiction writing at Goucher College.
How much simpler to follow the path of least resistance than to buck convention. There are plenty of reasons why we probably shouldn’t go to Italy this summer, chief among them money. And yet, what are we waiting for? Steve is celebrating a zero birthday. For a new couple with four kids between us, we’ve earned this romantic getaway.
As for the MFA, I’m ready. After many years of juggling various responsibilities, I yearn for focus and structured time to write. In the quiet of the evening and the time-robbing bustle of the day, the vision has come to me slowly but convincingly. At first I couldn’t embrace it. Could I really make this sort of commitment to myself? I worried about giving up consulting work; I worried about who would help with the kids during the annual two-week residency; I worried about balancing the demands of the program with those in my life; I worried about making a mistake.
But the greater part of me, the part that is married to my life, began to pay close attention to the voice inside saying “yes.” This is the same voice that led me to recast my life nearly four years ago by moving to CO, and it’s clear for all to see what a positive move that has been.
If not now, when?
What dreams are tugging at you?