Life can careen off-course.
We’ve all had such moments, and thankfully, I’m safe and recovered to tell you about mine this past week.
The blue-black sky contrasted vividly with the soft snow still falling. In my car at 5:45 a.m., Denver looked magical, like a fairy world with white crystals. I was headed to a Board of Directors meeting at 7a.m. but had left plenty of time to make the half-hour trip to Englewood, CO. Looking at the whiteness around me, warm mug of Einstein’s hazelnut coffee in hand, Mendelssohn’s violin concerto in E minor playing on my radio, I remember feeling a profound sense of grace and calm. It was a near perfect moment. That is, until a car to my left on Interstate 25 tried to pass and slid into my car. I heard the collision and then felt my car spinning. At once, I remember gripping the wheel and screaming, not stopping until the car came to a rest. What the heck happened?
And then I began to shake because I was all right. There were no other cars to the back or right of mine. No glass had shattered. I hadn’t hit my head. “You’re okay,” I told myself, “you’re okay.”
In an instant…the course of my life, and god forbid, my family’s, might have changed. Whether I feel such things more intensely because of the lingering loss of my first husband, I’ll never know. But what I am sure of is that close brushes like these are teachable moments to stop and consider head-on what matters most. When life jolts us in this manner, we must pause and reflect. I did plenty of that while nursing my stiff neck and shoulders, taking the rest of the day and night to simply breathe and sleep. It’s what I needed to steer myself back to the beating pulse of my world.
I have found power in the mysteries of thought, exaltation in the changing of the Muses … I have been versed in the reasonings of men but Fate is stronger than anything I have known.